


Top 20 Amazon Best Sellers of 2015 (as reviewed by Bernard Black, Manny Bianco, and Fran Katzenjammer for Black Books)

by Lauren (notalwaysweak)



Category: Black Books
Genre: Gen, Yuletide Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-19
Updated: 2015-12-19
Packaged: 2018-05-07 13:00:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5457371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notalwaysweak/pseuds/Lauren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Title says it all. Image-heavy. Skip to chapter two for text-only version.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. [image edition]

**Author's Note:**

  * For [evelyn_b](https://archiveofourown.org/users/evelyn_b/gifts).



> _Black Books_ characters do not belong to me and I am making no money off this work of fan fiction.
> 
> * * *


	2. [text edition]

1\. _First 100 Words_ , Roger Priddy

An excellent book for parents of toddlers to guide their offspring through the most common short words. Bright photographs accompanying the text provide real-world examples to define each word. –MB

Why not let the kids just surprise you? My first word was [crossed out with black marker] and I turned out fine. –BB

 

2\. _The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up_ , Marie Kondo

Beautiful book, really inspirational. I spent eight hours tidying up after I read it. My advice to readers is to not have any friends who will undo all your hard work, however accidentally it might appear.—MB

[wine stain]—BB

 

3\. _Strengths 2.0_ , Tom Rath

I think they could have made this into an app instead of a book. It’s a bit of a slog if none of your strengths relate to anything more complicated than swiping left or right.—FK

There is an app.—BB

Oh? What’re your strengths then, go on?—FK

I don’t know, do you think I can be bothered with all that swiping?—BB

 

4\. _Go Set a Watchman_ , Harper Lee

RACIST.—BB

An intriguing look at an earlier time, when racial prejudices differed in some respects to the present day, but also were also similar enough to be of note. To Kill a Mockingbird is definitely required reading beforehand.—MB

STILL RACIST.—BB

 

5\. _Secret Garden: An Inky Treasure Hunt and Coloring Book_ , Johanna Basford

I shelved this with the kids’ books until some bint came in and shouted at me about mindfulness and colour therapy.—BB

They are meant to be for adults, Bernard.—FK

[irritated splotch]—BB

This isn’t a review, you two. An actual review would say that this was one of the groundbreaking adult colouring books, leading the way for many other releases, and that it comes with a set of coloured markers.—MB

All I know is it isn’t what I picture when someone says ‘adult colouring book’.—BB

 

6\. _Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids_ , Rob Elliott

‘For Kids’, my arse. That stupid hairy Yeti has been reading these alleged jokes out to me for the last hours, and he laughs like a vigorously shaken pig EVERY TIME. Send help AND MORE WINE.—BB

 

7\. _All the Light We Cannot See_ , Robert Doerr

The title is a brilliant metaphor for the experiences of the two protagonists of the story: a young blind French girl, and a German orphan boy learning lessons about radio waves. This is an intricately layered novel that speaks about just how many tales there are about WWII that we may never know.—MB

Did you get that off the Amazon website?—FK

 

8\. _Enchanted Forest: An Inky Quest & Coloring Book_, Johanna Basford

Hang on, didn’t we already do this one?—BB

It’s part of a series of beautiful adult colou—MB

[Splotchy evidence of wrestling over the black texta.]—BB, MB

 

9\. _The Girl on the Train_ , Paula Hawkins

A masterpiece of unreliable narration. Kept me guessing all the way through what was real and what was fake.—FK

That’s because you were too drunk to read.—BB

 

10\. _Adult Coloring Book: Stress Relieving Patterns_ , Blue Star Coloring

Another bloody colouring book! All right, all right, all right. Every time there’s one of these on the list, I get to drink. What’s next?—BB

[Partially coloured mandala design]—FK

 

11\. _Diary of a Wimpy Kid #10: Old School_ , Jeff Kinney

This is a fun read with simple yet evocative illustrations that help kids relate to the characters in the book and their ups and downs.—MB

Yes, but who wants to relate to characters who don’t have modern electronics?—FK

 

12\. _To Kill a Mockingbird_ , Harper Lee

I still can’t believe Gregory Peck went from this to how he was in the sequel.—BB

The sequel was set in the 1950s in Alabama. It may be a fictional narrative, but it had pretty accurate values for the time. Harper Lee would know. She was there.—MB

STILL RACIST.—BB

That can’t be your review for everything, Bernard.—FK

Says you. My gold stars are staying right here in my pocket.—BB

 

13\. _Humans of New York: Stories_ , Brandon Stanton

Clever photography combined with a wide array of experiences and stories provide numerous insights into human nature from all walks of life.—MB

If I wanted insights into human nature, I’d let customers into the shop.—BB

 

14\. _The Martian_ , Andy Weir

This was an okay book, but a better movie. I felt like the scientific jargon in the book got difficult to follow at times, and that the visual representations in the movie made it easier to understand.—FK

Your review should just be ‘sighs over Matt Damon for two and a half hours’.—BB

 

15\. _Oh, the Places You’ll Go!_ , Dr. Seuss

This was always one of my favourite Dr. Seuss books. It’s forthright about the ups and downs of life, but honestly very uplifting overall. I especially liked and still like the part about the Boom Bands.—MB

Boom Bands? Do you mean the noises that come out of your arse?—BB

Bernard! Small children might read that!—FK

Didn’t we all learn from Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes that kids love fart jokes?—BB

 

16\. _Adult Coloring Book: Stress Relieving Animal Designs_ , Blue Star Coloring

DRINK!—BB

[Same mandala design as before, with more coloured in.]—FK

 

17\. _Adult Coloring Books: A Coloring Book for Adults Featuring Mandalas and Henna Inspired Flowers, Animals, and Paisley Patterns_ , Blue Star Coloring

[Same mandala design as before, but this time with pronounced burn marks.]—BB

 

18\. _Dear Zoo: A Lift-the-Flap Book (Dear Zoo & Friends)_, Rod Hamilton

This is a very sweet book for very young children to learn about animals. The liftable flaps make the book interactive even for tiny hands.—FK

Needs more balloons.—BB

[Three balloons, red, yellow, and blue.]—BB

 

19\. _Grey: Fifty Shades of Grey as Told by Christian (Fifty Shades of Grey Series)_ , E.L. James

I understand why the author chose to write this, but it’s not the same without the feminine viewpoint to identify with. Not that I read the series. I hear it did really well, though.—FK

Why did she choose to write it?—MB

Money.—FK

This is what I think of when people use the words ‘adult’, ‘colour’, and ‘book’ in the same sentence.—BB

 

20\. _Mindset: The New Psychology of Success_ , Carol Dweck

It’s always so insightful to see what different psychologists think about how people should think to make themselves function better.—MB

This is just those colouring books again without the pictures.—BB

[One final wine stain.]—BB


End file.
